The official
language of St-Leonard is a bastardized combination of 3 languages |
YOU KNOW YOU'RE ITALIAN FROM
SAINT-LEONARD WHEN... You and/or other
household members use the hose to clean the concrete in your driveway
and/or in the street in front of your house At 35, you still have a phobia of walking through your parent's dining room As a child, your
last week of summer holidays were always spent putting caps on tomato sauce-filled jars you're willing to let your kid miss school because Italy's national soccer team is playing You "close" the light and "open" the TV Your sister is twenty one and
still hasn't been allowed to talk to a guy yet The clanking of mason jars and
tomatoes all over your garage floor means you're stuck making 500 pounds of tomato sauce
on the hottest day of the summer. Your Grandparents
are obsessed with telling you not to drink anything cold because it's "Bad for
you"? You can rebuild a
motor and frame a house, but couldn't help your wife with the laundry because you cannot
operate a washing machine if your life depended on it Every single picture-frame, salt-shaker, nut-cracker, candle-holder and butter-knife in your home is a "bomboniere" from previous weddings Your father owns 5 houses, has $350,000 in the bank, but still drives a big '76 Monte Carlo with a picture of Sant`Antonio hanging from the mirror Your mom`s idea of a social outing is to go on the backyard balcony and socialize with the neighbors while they are hanging their wet clothes on the clothes line Within the same 2 week span, you and 45,000 of your closest friends fly to Acapulco and stay at the Copacabana Hotel In your circle of friends, at least one guy has followed tradition and works in construction, while another guy is 250+ lbs working as a bouncer at some niteclub You have at least one relative named either Dino, Gino, Lino, Pino, or Rino; and another relative named Dina, Gina, Lina, Pina, Rina or Tina You still go to the same Barber shop your grandfather brought you to when you were 4 years old Through years of getting yelled at by your mother, you know more saint names than the Pope You and your friends go out for coffee a minimum of 3 times a week,yet you have never set foot in a donut shop or tasted North American-style coffee Your dad was too cheap to buy a "Tempo" so he built his own with pieces of plywood You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a brand new $25,000 red Honda Civic or Black Volkswagen GTI Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives You think "downtown" is Jean-Talon boulevard The street you live on is composed of duplex-type houses all owned by Italians living downstairs with french tenants living upstairs You consider an espresso a nutritious breakfast You are a V.I.P at more than 3 clubs on St-Laurent Boulevard At least 5 of your cousins live on your street All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners You`re still in tears because they closed L`Arnaque and L`Horizon clubs You know what a "Milano Sangwich" is You know what "S" cookies are You smoke "DuMaurier regular" There were more than 28 people in your bridal party You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion You netted more than $200,000 in the envelopes at your wedding You have a fig tree in your backyard At some point in your life, you were a D.J. You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone's greatness Somewhere on your parents' property, there is a statue of the Madonna It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets Your dad stole all your hockey sticks in the garage and planted them in the garden to grow his tomatoes Greek and Lebanese
people constantly want to be with you, be just like you, be around you, near you,
basically want to…………be you! |